Life in the Fast Lane
People in Illinois hate Missouri drivers. Why? Missouri drivers do the speed limit in the left lane. This jams up traffic for miles. And you Missourians KNOW this is true. Driving from St. Louis to Kansas City is enough to make anybody pull over and spend two or three hours in a well advertised adult store.
I mention this because while in Copenhagen I noticed something that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but which drove me into those same well advertised adult stores.
Sloooooooow play. I'm not talking about thinking something through. I'm talking about doing things that just make the pace of the game unbearable.
Full disclosure. I have a rare brain disease and this condition makes it difficult for me to concentrate and sequence events. It also makes me a little more impulsive, which as TEDMS will testify, is barely mathematically possible.
Also, I live in France, where the pace of a game is glacial. Can you get bored playing ASL? Yes, you can. Sitting there watching your opponent count out four or five different movement paths without touching his counter will have you reaching for your Android to watch all the funny parts of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back while he finishes his move.
Two players in Copenhagen couldn't even finish there scenario in the eight hours allotted. That's nuts! Eight hours to play a tournament scenario? I've played campaign games in less time than that (including Kampfgruppe Scherer, right Carl?) Finally, a jury was called in to decide the winner. This is also nuts. In my tournament, if you don't finish in eight hours, you both lose.
In the past, one of my tournament opponents also had the annoying habit of counting out his movement beforehand (often checking three or four different paths) and then picking up the counter and breezing through the counting. He then claimed that I didn't declare DF opportunities before he had "moved on." Good try. I'm not a competitive ASL player, but that kind of play drives me over the edge.
Another opponent in Copenhagen was slow enough that I resigned at 12:40 am. I had traveled that day and played a scenario before. Five hours was too much for such a skin and bones scenario.
Another time, a player who was defending slowed down so that we wouldn't finish. That's one sure way of making sure I don't get the victory locations.
In Lille, I was waiting for a ride with someone who went until 3am to get back to the hotel. That's tough. I'm old.
In Lyon, I once finished a scenario, changed sides and played it again (losing both times) and then waited an hour while two players finished the SAME SCENARIO.
This isn't a strictly European problem, however. There were many times in Colorado people went on and on into the morning. At ASL Oktoberfest, I never went outside, looked at a window or stopped playing ASL, so it wasn't an issue.
In Cheltham, however, this wasn't an issue. Derrick Cox runs a tight tournament and cracks the whip.
And for the sake of Cthulu and all that he makes insane never let another player know this makes you crazy. It slows them down even more.
What slows players down? I would put this in several concise categories.
When moving, you are not supposed to take moves back that you have already expended. I understand this. Like most players, I am lenient about bending this rule. There is no provision in the rules for not picking up your counter and figuring out the best path to move to get yourself where you want to be. I understand this. However, it takes a lot of time and is completely and totally boring for your opponent. It's like having a woman lick your nipples during sex.
The best thing about the IIFT is that it prevents gamey and temporally wasteful calculus of developing optimum firegroups. If for no other reason, you need to adopt the IIFT now. Sitting across from someone trying to determine whether or not to use a LMG makes me want to break out my whacking stick.
Sometimes, an opponent will sit there and calculate to-hit modifiers for ages before rolling the dice. The only thing that overcomes the wretched ennui of this situation is the 1/36 chance they then roll boxcars. There are three kinds of rolls needed to hit. Unlikely, possible and likely. Know what category your need falls into and roll the dice. Most likely, the outcome will preclude the need for looking up whether a T26 is a small target or not.
Defensive fire is one that, in some cases, at least, is a total mindfuck. I seriously believe that some opponents sit there and jostle their dummy stack for two minutes before telling you they don't think the LOS is clear or that they will hold off. You sons-of-whores who carry around a twenty sided die to keep track of movements know who I'm talking about.
The advance phase is fucked. I hate the advance phase. Let's see, if I move my 548 in with the leader and leave the 447 out, that would give me a 3:2, which is a 5 for a kill and a 6 for a CR. If I send in the 447... Crippled Christ on a Cross! Give me a break.
Probably this is what separates a poor player (me) from a good player (not me.) I know that. I also know that this is all according to the rules.
However, it seems to me that a tactical combat game that rewards a slow pace of play is missing something. I think it should reward quick decision making and on the fly a priori calculations about potential outcomes. If you want to play chess, play chess. I prefer ASL.
I mention this because while in Copenhagen I noticed something that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but which drove me into those same well advertised adult stores.
Sloooooooow play. I'm not talking about thinking something through. I'm talking about doing things that just make the pace of the game unbearable.
Full disclosure. I have a rare brain disease and this condition makes it difficult for me to concentrate and sequence events. It also makes me a little more impulsive, which as TEDMS will testify, is barely mathematically possible.
Also, I live in France, where the pace of a game is glacial. Can you get bored playing ASL? Yes, you can. Sitting there watching your opponent count out four or five different movement paths without touching his counter will have you reaching for your Android to watch all the funny parts of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back while he finishes his move.
Two players in Copenhagen couldn't even finish there scenario in the eight hours allotted. That's nuts! Eight hours to play a tournament scenario? I've played campaign games in less time than that (including Kampfgruppe Scherer, right Carl?) Finally, a jury was called in to decide the winner. This is also nuts. In my tournament, if you don't finish in eight hours, you both lose.
In the past, one of my tournament opponents also had the annoying habit of counting out his movement beforehand (often checking three or four different paths) and then picking up the counter and breezing through the counting. He then claimed that I didn't declare DF opportunities before he had "moved on." Good try. I'm not a competitive ASL player, but that kind of play drives me over the edge.
Another opponent in Copenhagen was slow enough that I resigned at 12:40 am. I had traveled that day and played a scenario before. Five hours was too much for such a skin and bones scenario.
Another time, a player who was defending slowed down so that we wouldn't finish. That's one sure way of making sure I don't get the victory locations.
In Lille, I was waiting for a ride with someone who went until 3am to get back to the hotel. That's tough. I'm old.
In Lyon, I once finished a scenario, changed sides and played it again (losing both times) and then waited an hour while two players finished the SAME SCENARIO.
This isn't a strictly European problem, however. There were many times in Colorado people went on and on into the morning. At ASL Oktoberfest, I never went outside, looked at a window or stopped playing ASL, so it wasn't an issue.
In Cheltham, however, this wasn't an issue. Derrick Cox runs a tight tournament and cracks the whip.
And for the sake of Cthulu and all that he makes insane never let another player know this makes you crazy. It slows them down even more.
What slows players down? I would put this in several concise categories.
- Counting out your moves.
- Calculating firepower.
- Searching for modifiers.
- Deciding DF
- Figuring CC odds.
When moving, you are not supposed to take moves back that you have already expended. I understand this. Like most players, I am lenient about bending this rule. There is no provision in the rules for not picking up your counter and figuring out the best path to move to get yourself where you want to be. I understand this. However, it takes a lot of time and is completely and totally boring for your opponent. It's like having a woman lick your nipples during sex.
The best thing about the IIFT is that it prevents gamey and temporally wasteful calculus of developing optimum firegroups. If for no other reason, you need to adopt the IIFT now. Sitting across from someone trying to determine whether or not to use a LMG makes me want to break out my whacking stick.
Sometimes, an opponent will sit there and calculate to-hit modifiers for ages before rolling the dice. The only thing that overcomes the wretched ennui of this situation is the 1/36 chance they then roll boxcars. There are three kinds of rolls needed to hit. Unlikely, possible and likely. Know what category your need falls into and roll the dice. Most likely, the outcome will preclude the need for looking up whether a T26 is a small target or not.
Defensive fire is one that, in some cases, at least, is a total mindfuck. I seriously believe that some opponents sit there and jostle their dummy stack for two minutes before telling you they don't think the LOS is clear or that they will hold off. You sons-of-whores who carry around a twenty sided die to keep track of movements know who I'm talking about.
The advance phase is fucked. I hate the advance phase. Let's see, if I move my 548 in with the leader and leave the 447 out, that would give me a 3:2, which is a 5 for a kill and a 6 for a CR. If I send in the 447... Crippled Christ on a Cross! Give me a break.
Probably this is what separates a poor player (me) from a good player (not me.) I know that. I also know that this is all according to the rules.
However, it seems to me that a tactical combat game that rewards a slow pace of play is missing something. I think it should reward quick decision making and on the fly a priori calculations about potential outcomes. If you want to play chess, play chess. I prefer ASL.
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